Voyeurism is the act of observing others for sexual pleasure. Those who engage in voyeurism are voyeurs.
What is a Voyeur?
A voyeur is someone who gains sexual satisfaction from observing others.* What they are observing doesn’t have to be exclusively sexual for them to find it arousing. The voyeur just has to find it sexually appealing.
For instance, it is common for voyeurs to watch people getting undressed, doing tasks, or walking by in attractive outfits.
The wants of a voyeur are diverse and complicated. Some just want to observe an entire erotic act in “secret”, others want to be ‘caught’ and invited to join, while some only want to listen to the sexual escapades of others completely as a 3rd party.
Hell, some voyeurs just want to watch themselves go at it.
What a voyeur wants differs from person to person. But, one thing that remains the same is that the act of observing in some way turns them on.
*In the case of kink, all those being observed are consenting individuals wanting and choosing to be sexualized.
What Do They Get Out of It?
No matter the want, however, the idea of being a bystander to such private acts gives them intense feelings of sexual excitement.
For many, this type of behavior is usually explained by the way the brain processes this type of risk. These types of risks cause a surge of adrenaline to be released in our brains, which then leads to a surge of dopamine to be released. This makes engaging in these acts exciting. Voyeurism is high risk, high payout, leading it to be a thrilling experience; sometimes for everyone involved, especially if they’re into exhibitionism.
The other, less talked about reasons, are lack of obligation and touch aversion.
Many engage in voyeurism because it helps them relax and feel free of obligations during sex. There are no expectations of the voyeur. They can watch and enjoy, they can watch and not enjoy. There’s no worry about “doing it right” when there’s nothing you’re expected to do. This can ease a lot of people’s nerves allowing them to comfortably and fully experience arousal.
The second reason is touch aversion. Not everyone wants to be touched, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to watch others enjoy it. Voyeurism is an effective way to fulfill the needs of those who experience discomfort with touch.
Final Thoughts
Voyeurism can be tricky because there is a thin line between being viewed as a creep or as a “hot” watcher.
In general, it’s a good practice to make sure all those who are being watched want to be. This means either openly communicating with your partner/s about limits and boundaries or going to places where this type of thing is allowed, such as sex clubs.
As with anything in kink, voyeurism is on a spectrum. The boundaries and dynamics can change depending on the day or the individual so it’s important to check in from time to time.
