Last Updated on August 13, 2025 by Lexi Kisses
Closing your eyes during sex can increase activity in areas of the brain that decrease anxiety, and increase sensory perception & processing.
Close your eyes during sex if you want to. It’s not as big a deal as society makes it out to be. And it might even make your sex life better.
There are many opinions and articles online with negative viewpoints about closing your eyes during sex.
They say things like, “It shows a lack of interest,” or “It means you’re fantasizing about someone else.” Yet, none of them have anything more than assumptions or insecurities to back up their claims.
In fact, if we look at the data, it points towards the opposite. Close those eyes during sex!
A study published on May 27th, 2015, showed signs that closing our eyes, even in complete darkness, increases occipital alpha-synchronization and BOLD activity in the somatosensory cortex. 1
This increase in activity is known to decrease anxiety, as well as increase sensory perception & processing. 2
Which, when applying this to sex, we can safely assume, closing our eyes increases our relaxation and responsiveness to the touch we receive.
This means that for many of us, when our eyes are closed, we will feel sex more intensely.
And, for those of us who are neurodivergent, closing our eyes during sex can also be helpful to ease distractions or discomfort around eye contact. Making sex overall more comfortable.*
*Not all people who are neurodivergent are the same. Some may want more or less eye contact depending on their personality and wants.
What to Do If You or Your Partner/s Are Self-Conscious About It?
Talk to them.
That’s easier said than done, I know.
It might be a little awkward at first, but try it.
Ask them questions and give answers that will help the both of you understand each other.
Remember to make sure the questions you ask are open-ended because closed-ended questions can make people anxious and hide their feelings. While open-ended questions make them comfortable and encourage an honest discussion.3 4
Closed-ended questions are questions that can be answered with one word. Yes, no, maybe, unsure, etc.
Open-ended questions are questions that are answered by explaining. These usually start with “what,” “how” and “why”.
I advise against “why” questions though, because they can seem judgemental and trigger defensiveness. 5
| Closed-Ended Question | Open-ended Question |
| Does it feel better when you close your eyes? | How do you feel when you close your eyes? |
| Is eye contact all you want? | What makes you want eye contact? |
| Are there other ways to fulfill that need that work for us both? | What can we do to fill this need for us both? |
While on this topic, the use of “you” can also trigger defensiveness during a serious discussion as well. 6 So, try to avoid it. Use “I” statements instead when discussing your own feelings, such as; “I feel uncomfortable making eye contact,” versus “Making eye contact with you is uncomfortable.”
Make your primary goal to make the person as comfortable as possible. Be open about your wants and needs and invite them to be as well. Try to avoid making yourself or others feel bad about having a good time because of lack of communication or insecurity.
Final Thoughts
Redefine what intimacy is if the mainstream view doesn’t fit you; change it. Judging yourself or others purely on a social standard will leave everyone feeling empty. So, next time you have sex, try closing your eyes. Who knows? You may love it.
- Brodoehl, Stefan, et al. “Eye Closure Enhances Dark Night Perceptions.” Scientific Reports, vol. 5, no. 1, 27 May 2015, https://doi.org/10.1038/srep10515. Accessed 8 Oct. 2020.[↩]
- Haag, Lauren M., et al. “Resting BOLD Fluctuations in the Primary Somatosensory Cortex Correlate with Tactile Acuity.” Cortex, vol. 64, Mar. 2015, pp. 20–28, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5527676/, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cortex.2014.09.018. Accessed 13 Aug. 2025.[↩]
- Goto, Michiko, and Yousuke C. Takemura. “Which Medical Interview Skills Are Associated with Patients’ Verbal Indications of Undisclosed Feelings of Anxiety and Depressive Feelings?” Asia Pacific Family Medicine, vol. 15, no. 1, 28 Feb. 2016, https://doi.org/10.1186/s12930-016-0027-x.[↩]
- Tamparo, Carol, and Wilburta Lindh. Therapeutic Communications for Health Care. Cengage Learning, 24 July 2008.[↩]
- Storlie, Timothy A. “Open-Ended Question – an Overview | ScienceDirect Topics.” Www.sciencedirect.com, 2015, www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/open-ended-question.[↩]
- Montemurro, Francine. “I” Messages or “I” Statements. Boston University https://www.biamo.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/I-Messages-Handout.pdf[↩]
