Sex Positive Has Many Different Connotations – Here’s Mine!
I throw around the terms sex-positive and sex-positivity a lot, and it has never occurred to me to explain what I meant until now. While scrolling through internet forums, I noticed a fair amount of people annoyed with the term, saying it does nothing but shit on “normal people” and praise promiscuous ones. Oh god, I thought that’s not what I’m trying to promote at all, and as a kink page, I think it’s time I cleared up what I mean & don’t when I say sex-positive.
What I Mean When I Say Sex Positive
When I say I strive to be a sex-positive person, what I’m saying is I make an active effort to be non-judgmental to all genders and types of sexual activity. So, what exactly does an active effort mean to me? It means that I passionately attempt to learn about sex outside of the kind I have so I can better understand not only myself but those around me. It also means I try to be transparent when talking about sex because I believe communication is the key to having a healthy relationship with sex. My goal is to promote a relationship with sex that is about building acceptance towards it instead of shame.
What I Don’t Mean When I Say Sex Positive
Unfortunately, there are a fair amount of people who promote sex-positivity in an extremely sex-negative way. What I mean is sometimes I will see sex positivity being used to promote shaming views regarding monogamists, chaste (by choice), or cis-gendered people. This is a classic example of the pot calling the kettle black, and I’m not here for it. Sex positivity is not anti-people who don’t have sex; it isn’t about sleeping around or being a monogamist. It’s about accepting people for the sex they are and the sex they want to have regardless of personal preferences. Anyone can be sex-positive because it’s about accepting others; there’s no need to agree.
Seeing the conflicting definitions of sex positivity made me feel the need to clarify what I meant when I say sex-positive; because unfortunately, that doesn’t always mean someone is accepting of your sex. Therefore, I wanted to make my stance on it clear, as long as the people involved are consenting, I don’t care what they are, who they are, or what kind of sex they have, just that they’re enjoying it. The sex-positivity I live by is about expanding my knowledge on sex to become more accepting.