Genital Jousting Game Review
Does no one want to touch your penis? Don’t worry; no one wants to touch John’s either. Genital Jousting is a game that lets you take on the role of John, a penis looking for a date to his high school reunion. If story mode isn’t your thing, it also has a “multipeen” mode where you play with friends. Who will be the ultimate cock?
Design & Sound
The overall look and design of the game is cartoony, humorous, and sometimes a bit gross. As a primarily multiplayer game, the design quickly becomes its strength making it approachable and comfortable for those who are squeamish at the sight of genitals. Though if you have a weak stomach, the sound design and poop humor might make you sick.
Genital Jousting constantly has the sound of what I would call wet dicks slapping together, along with farts and squirting cum noises. At times, even as a lover of cock, if I thought about it too much, I found myself gagging.
Gameplay
Story Mode
In story mode, you play as John a dick who self proclaims himself as a good person. We play as John as he tries to find a date for his high school reunion, though it proves difficult because he keeps getting rejected. You go through John’s story as he goes on dates, and faces his demons. I won’t spoil the ending for those who are interested.
The story mode for Genital Jousting falls flat. There were a few times where I enjoyed the game-play. For instance, there is a mini-game that has you follow a pattern to dance, and one that encourages you to go through an obstacle course while the screen poorly, in a fun way, misguides you.
I find story mode to be quite dull, and at times its entertainment solely relies on you being a penis. It’s worth noting John being a penis doesn’t benefit the story in any way; put a human in the story, and it’s almost the same game.
To add insult to injury, during my second playthrough, I found this game to be buggy. So much so that I quit the second time around. Here are some glitches I experienced during gameplay:
- At times cutscenes wouldn’t initiate forcing me to restart the chapter to continue.
- It crashed a few times.
- At times the character got stuck off-screen, and I couldn’t control it.
Nevertheless, I did giggle at the Rocky-like training scene, brought to you by John the penis.
Traditional Mode
Traditional mode encourages you to face off against your friends and joust them right in their assholes!
The traditional mode requires you to have at least three players, even so, there is a little trick to get around this:
- Start the game
- Select Offline MultiPeen
- Select Traditional Mode
- Have one player hold up both control sticks to play as two penises
- Once in-game press start
- Revoke the 3rd’s player consent
- Two-player mode is Ready!
However, I will say the two-player mode is boring because you will end in a tie, for the best experience play it with 3, or more, players.
There isn’t much to say about the gameplay itself, except that it’s the most stable mode in the game. I’ve had this game glitch and crash on me several times, but never while playing this mode.
Date Night Mode
Face off against your partner in Date Night! You compete in date themed games to see who can get the biggest score!
Date night is the only part of the game I would consider to be two players, which is disappointing because it gets old very quickly. On my first playthrough, I found it to be entertaining but only moderately.
Feeling like I didn’t experience this mode to its full degree, I did play through it again, but the second time wasn’t the charm, and I found myself frustrated by a newly found game-breaking glitch.
During a mini-game where you walk a dog, I began to notice I was fighting the controls, not in the fun way either. The dog not once, but twice would get stuck because the leash was clipping through the ground. I eventually called it quits and just shut off the game.
I find that even when this mode works correctly, it has little replayability because it only has a few mini-games. Once you beat it once, you’ve beaten it all.
Party Mode
In Genital Jousting party mode, you face off against friends or online players in mini-games.
I originally started playing party mode locally with my partner, which was enjoyable we shared great laughs, but adding more players by playing online made this game a lot more fun. The strange controls became funny and humorous, as I’m sure they are supposed to be. I would describe this mode as a delightfully skillful game of chance.
Honestly, I will arguably say this is the best mode out of them all. I did encounter a few glitches, but nothing that affects gameplay due to the reset button.
For example, there’s a soccer mini-game where sometimes the ball would bounce out of bounds and get stuck. To fix this issue, reset the mini-game from the pause menu and start over due to the non-extensive gameplay of party mode, its a simple and effective fix.
Conclusion
Genital Jousting is an entertaining party game ruined by glitches and a bland story. I feel that this game shined when it came to multiplayer. I would prefer them to work on improving the multiplayer aspects and come up with a fun option for single players; because at the end of the day, not all your friends are sex deviants.
Interested in more sex games? Check out my review on NSFWare!
