The Benefits of Watching a Partner Masturbate

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When my partner and I began talking openly about sex, one of the first things they asked me was, “can I watch you masturbate?” Having expressed the want to watch them masturbate before, I thought nothing of it. I spread out, relaxed my body, and put on a show. Come to find out, my partner asked not only for their own viewing pleasure but to better learn how to touch me. And let me tell you, it without a doubt works.  Therefore, Today I thought it would be fun to break down the benefits of watching a partner masturbate or partners masturbate.

Benefits as the watcher

In this context, the watcher is the person who is observing their significant other/s masturbate. 

As the watcher, you learn a lot. When you just observe your partner as they explore their body in ways, they only know how you begin to see what you could be doing better. You start to understand how their pleasure works. As the watcher, you learn that pleasure has nothing to do with gender and has everything to do with individuality. No two people are alike; what works for one person may not work for another. You discover that being good at sex is only relevant to how well you know the ins and outs of a person’s erogenous zones. And the best way to learn the ins and outs is by observing. 

Apart from being a learning experience, let’s be honest, being the watcher is hot. Ok, I might be biased because I have a major thing for masturbation, but In my humble opinion, being the watcher is an incredibly arousing experience. There is nothing hotter than the look but can’t touch feeling. Watching a partner/s writhe under their own touch is breathtaking. 

On top of all else, it’s incredibly intimate. If you’re looking for a way to spice up your sex life and add another layer of raw passion, nothing does that better than watching a person do such a personal act right in front of you. I felt so close to my partner the first time I watched them masturbate. Due to the stigma around masturbation, I felt almost sappy thinking about how they let me into such an intimate part of their life. And if that doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what will.

Benefits as the Performer 

In this case, the performer refers to the person who is masturbating in the situation. In situations of mutual masturbation, you’re both the performer and the watcher

As the performer, having your s/o horn over you can boost your sexual confidence. I remember I used to be self-conscious about the faces I made in bed. Regardless of what my partner said, I couldn’t shake the thought that my faces were stupid looking. This thought dissipated over time as my lover watched me masturbate. Seeing how my natural reactions made them drool helped me feel more comfortable expressing my sexual inhibitions with them. 

In addition to the boots to your sexual confidence, being the performer also increases intimacy, much like the watcher. But as opposed to the intimacy stemming from watching, it stems from performing. In those moments, where I know I’m being watched in complete awe, as I do things people don’t talk about, I feel closer to my partner than I ever have. 

Above all, a major perk to being the performer is that you get to teach. Being the performer gives you full control of what you show and don’t show your partner. If you feel that you want more stimulation to a certain part of your body, touch yourself there. Show your partner what you like by doing it to yourself. After a couple of observation sessions, you may find yourself surprised that your lover knows you a bit better. 


Watching a partner masturbate teaches you a considerable amount about their pleasure. While observing my s/o over the years, I discovered what speeds work best for them, how to tell when they’re about to cum, and just generally how to navigate their body. So, If you want to try something new, why not watch your partner masturbate or even join in on the fun with a mutual masturbation session? And who knows, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.

Want to talk about more sex? Don’t know where to start? Read my article on How to Talk about Sex.


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