The Truth about What’s Making You Cry After Sex

Last Updated on August 6, 2025 by Lexi Kisses

Do you ever finish having sex and are overwhelmed with guilt or start crying for no apparent reason? That’s Sex drop.*

*You may also have heard this referred to as: Dom Drop, Sub Drop, Top Drop, Event drop, Postcoital dysphoria, or the Post Sex Blues

What is Sex Drop?

Sex Drop refers to the phenomenon of experiencing intensely overwhelming emotions after a positive sexual experience. 

These emotions range from positive to negative. And they are known to cause involuntary reactions such as bursting into tears. ¹

Common Signs of Sex Drop Are

• Crying / Sobbing After Sex
• Feeling overcome by emotions such as
  • Guilt
  • Sadness
  • Anxiety
  • Happiness 
  • Joy
  • Calmness
• Feeling Hollow 
• Feeling Distant ^{1 2} 

What Causes it? 

When pursuing sex, our parasympathetic nervous system activates. 

This slows down your heart rate, regulates your breathing and lowers your blood pressure. Allowing you to relax. 

As sex progresses, the sympathetic nervous system takes over. Which increases your heart rate, blood pressure and breathing.

If the sex is “bad” arousal subsides & the stress response may be activated. If the sex is “good” the body will return to the parasympathetic nervous system.

As our system attempts to return to its resting state. The re-regulation of our functions can cause an intense emotional reaction. This reaction is what we know as sex drop. ³

Other Possible Causes

• Sensitivity to Hormone Fluctuation ⁴
• Sex Beliefs & Bias ⁵
  • e.g. Feeling negative about sex will make you feel worse after it. 
• Type of Sex
  • e.g. Power exchange, trying something new, masturbation or partnered

Who Can Experience Sex Drop?

Anyone can, which is why I think it’s odd I didn’t hear about it until entering the kink community.

What causes it to happen may be different for everyone, but the flood of emotional intensity is the same. ⁵

What Can You Do?

The #1 thing you can do is aftercare.

For those who don’t know. Aftercare refers to catering to the physical and emotional needs of yourself and/or of your partner/s after sex. 

If you’ve never heard of aftercare, now is a good time to figure out what makes you feel normal after intimacy is done. 

Some Examples of Aftercare 

• Reassurance from a partner 
• Going right into an activity 
• Cuddling 
• Alone Time 
• Warm Bath 

Figuring out what makes you comfortable after sex isn’t always easy, so take your time and be kind with yourself as you try new things.

Check Out Aftercare if you need more advice! 

Final Thoughts

So, if you cry after sex, it’s normal. It’s your body’s reaction to the emotional intensity. 

Just have a warm blanket ready, or your favorite show to take care of yourself once the intense fun is done.  

Have you experienced sex drop? What helps you get through it? 

Starting an activity and having a sweet usually does it for me. 

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1. Liberacka-Dwojak, Magdalena, et al. “Crying and Sadness after Sexual Intercourse: A Qualitative Study of Postcoital Dysphoria.” Seksuologia Polska, vol. 19, no. 0, 22 Mar. 2021, https://doi.org/10.5603/sp.2021.0007. Accessed 28 Nov. 2021.[↩][↩]
2. Bird, Brian, et al. “The Prevalence and Correlates of Postcoital Dysphoria in Women.” International Journal of Sexual Health, vol. 23, no. 1, Jan. 2011, pp. 14–25, https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2010.509689.[↩]
3. Sprott, Richard, and Anna Randall. “Black and Blues: Sub Drop, Top Drop, Event Drop and Scene Drop.” Journal of Positive Sexuality, vol. 2, no. 3, 1 Oct. 2016, pp. 53–61, https://doi.org/10.51681/1.233. Accessed 9 Mar. 2021.[↩]
4. Journal of Depression and anxiety. “Overlap of Postnatal Depression and Postcoital Dysphoria in Women- Implications for Common Underlying Mechanisms.” Longdom.org, 2025, www.longdom.org/open-access/overlap-of-postnatal-depression-and-postcoital-dysphoria-in-womenimplications-for-common-underlying-mechanisms-2167-1044-S12-002.pdf.  Accessed 6 Aug. 2025.[↩]
5. Raftery, Darcie. “Further Exploration of the Correlates of Post-Coital Dysphoria and Its Prevalence within Different Sexual Contexts.” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, vol. 50, no. 5, 20 May 2024, pp. 638–658, https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623x.2024.2346165. Accessed 16 Nov. 2024.[↩][↩]