I was excited and horny, but after I came, I was depressed. Dom/Top drop is real, and I just found out. 

My partner and I  have been dabbling in BDSM for about 2 years or so now. Being a switch, I’ve experienced sub-drop and taken care of my partner during their sub-drop, but I never even knew it could happen to a dom until recently. 

As you know, last week I reviewed Sport Sheets’ Newcomers Strap On, and I loved it! I, however, didn’t talk about how I first experienced dom drop with it. When using the product, I had an amazing time, but when I came, I was overwhelmed with guilt and negative emotions. I immediately called the safe word and felt closed off from my world. Not quite sure what had happened, I decided to sit in the bath, relax, and look it up, “is dom-drop a thing?” I typed in the search bar, and guess what? It is. 

What I found out & Learned about Dom Drop

Dom drop is when, and I quote,

“The dom/domme experiences a spike in feel good hormones when engaging in BDSM practices. It may be followed by a low when the session is completed. For some dominants, the drop in emotion also encites feelings of guilt regarding their actions.”


I sighed with relief but also wondered why dom-drop isn’t a more talked about topic. When I discussed my research with my partner, he recalled feeling similar emotions a couple of years back when I asked him to call me a slut, but disregarded it. I was upset to find out he ate his feelings, but also happy that we now communicate in the bedroom. 

All that aside, many people forget that doms need aftercare as well. Being a dom can be taxing regardless of what kind of domination you do. You are taking complete control over another person, and the stigma around these acts can make you feel like a bad person, even though it’s consensual. What it all comes down to is talking to your partner. As a sub, it’s important to let your dom know that you have enjoyed a session, and as a dom, it’s your job to discuss if you are feeling uncomfortable with what is happening. 


I know in a world where porn mostly portrays doms as heartless aggressors, it’s strange to think they have feelings, but we do. Doms are human beings with emotions, and its always a good idea to check up on them once in a while. 

As a sub, I learned that I need to check up on my daddy every once in a while, and as a prideful dom, I learned I need to fucking speak up and not be an emotionless zombie. Communication is key in a BDSM relationship, but it’s also the key to having great rewarding sex. So in closing, let’s not forget to give our doms some aftercare.

Want to know more? The Loving BDSM talks about 3 Reasons Why Dom Drop Happens.

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