Watching Your Partner Masturbate Can Make You A Better Lover

Last Updated on October 13, 2025 by Lexi Kisses

If you haven’t watched your partner/s masturbate by now, you might want to try it out. You can learn a lot about how to drive someone wild by just watching them touch themselves.*

*As Always, make sure everyone is consenting & comfortable with the idea first! This is written from the perspective of someone who loves mutual masturbation. 

The Benefits as the watcher

In this context, the watcher is the person who is observing their significant other/s masturbate. As the watcher, you are in the student’s seat. 

1. It Teaches You a Lot about Your Partner/s Pleasure 

When someone masturbates, they tend to gravitate towards what feels pleasurable (naturally). So, by watching them, you start to understand how their pleasure works. 

Notice the speed, firmness and technique they use when they touch themselves. Observe how it changes as their arousal progresses.  What parts do they touch? What parts do they seemingly avoid? 

Mentally note these things. They’ll come in handy later. 

2. You Can Improve Your Technique

Using those mental notes from earlier, you can improve the way you pleasure your partner/s. 

Try replicating what they did to themselves. Touch the spots they did, copy their rhythms, their speeds and even the pressure. Sometimes just the feeling of someone else doing it to them can make it feel more intense. 

Use the knowledge you gained from watching them to please them. 

3. It’s Intimate

For many, masturbation is something that you don’t do around others, or talk about. So, having your partner masturbate as you watch, can be an incredibly bonding experience.  

I know for me, I felt so close to my partner the first time I watched them masturbate. I felt sappy thinking about how they let me into such an intimate part of their life. 

And honestly, that connection alone is enough to keep me coming back for more. 

Note: It may take some time before you or your partner/s are comfortable masturbating in front of each other (if at all). It’s important to try it a few times if it’s something you’re interested in in order to get more comfortable with it. 

Benefits as the Performer 

In this case, the performer refers to the person who is masturbating in the situation. In situations of mutual masturbation, you’re both the performer and the watcher. 

1. A Boost to Your Sexual Confidence 

As the performer, having your partner horn over you can boost your sexual confidence. 

I remember I used to be self-conscious about the faces I made in bed. Regardless of what my partner said, I couldn’t shake the thought that my faces were stupid looking. 

This thought dissipated over time as my lover watched me masturbate. Seeing how my natural reactions made them drool helped me feel more comfortable expressing my sexual inhibitions with them. 

2. Incredibly Intimate 

Much like watching, performing is also intimate. 

Being the performer is vulnerable. This vulnerability is an opportunity to get closer. Try to relax, and trust that your partner is enjoying themselves. Or, ignore them completely (some people prefer that). 

For most of us, masturbation isn’t something we usually put on display. So even just letting your partner/s see you in such a way can bring you closer from the transparency of the act. 

3. You Get to Teach 

Being the performer gives you full control of what you show and don’t show your partner. 

If you feel that you want more stimulation to a certain part of your body, touch yourself there. Show your partner what you like by doing it to yourself. After a couple of observation sessions, you may find yourself surprised that your lover knows you a bit better. 

Final Thoughts

Watching a partner masturbate teaches you a considerable amount about their pleasure. 

While observing my partner over the years, I discovered what speeds work best for them, how to tell when they’re about to cum, and just generally how to navigate their body. 

So, If you want to try something new, why not watch your partner masturbate or even join in on the fun with a mutual masturbation session? 

And, who knows, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.