Top 3 Things I’ve Learned as a Submissive

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Image by zseeee from Pixabay

I intended for this article to be about Why I play the Game without a safeword; nevertheless, it had a mind of its own, and I ended up with a long list of notes of what I learned as a submissive. So, if you ever wonder what drives a person to their knees, keep reading! 

1.Being told you’re wrong is good. It means you can now do the right thing. 

No one likes to hear that they’re wrong is a phrase many of us can relate to. I used to choke at the idea of getting corrected and stammer on my words trying to find a way to be right. However, all of that has changed over the years. From my bedroom to reality, being submissive has taught me how to accept my defeats and try better next time. 

Instead of being the prideful shit I once was, I grew to love my defeats and learn from them. Corrections from daddy were no longer gut-wrenching losses to my character; instead, they were personal learning experiences on why I can’t hold promises to myself. Every time Daddy forced me to explain why I was wrong, I died and regrew a stronger person. Now, whether it be a moral dilemma or a minuscule argument, I’ve learned to admit my failures and try again.

2. The True Meaning of Accountability & Self Confidence 

I always thought being held accountable meant taking responsibility for your actions (you know that vague phrase thrown at us as kids?). And though that is part of the definition, it seems the other half somehow got lost on me. It wasn’t until recently while reading a self-help book did I realize accountability also includes not backing out of things at the last minute. And let me tell you, I used to be the Queen of this. I broke this habit by implementing a strict rule in my sub life; I can not call the safe word during a punishment if I knowingly broke the rule intending to back out. And boy, did this teach me. Now acting bratty instead of discussing my emotions didn’t seem so appealing. 

Of course, if I truly called the safe word and told my partner no, they would stop; however, that hasn’t happened because my punishment is usually just. Most of the time, my spankings are caused by me not doing things I said I was going to. The act of having to reflect before calling the safe word allows me to clearly see my own actions, and they are usually deemed ridiculous by yours truly. So I bite it, accept that I was being a brat, and enjoy…I mean “dread” my punishment. This newfound trait leaked its way over to my real life as well because I credit it for giving me the confidence boost I needed to keep track of my blog and expand my art.

3. How to Obtain a Mindful State 

I don’t know about you, but there are some days I can’t get out of my head even if I removed my brain, and on these days, I like to be Daddy’s Little Girl. Being Daddy’s Girl allows me to stay in the moment because I’m listening to commands and engaging in an oh so fun game. Having to follow instructions takes me away from the world around me, and all I have to worry about at that moment are the tasks at hand. If I do worry, there will be kink consequences, and since I want to be a good girl, I find myself adapting mindfulness behaviors quickly.


I’ve learned a lot as a submissive, and if you have a loving dom, they can show you a lot about yourself. I never thought I’d find biting my tongue as sexy as I do. Yet, in a world full of people who talk shit behind your back, it’s hot for someone to call you out directly. I used to be the person who held a grudge and wouldn’t admit when they were wrong. So, when I started self-help, my partner joined me, and it merged its way into my sub/dom relationship. Which in turn, has helped me grow as a person and create healthier relationships in my waking life. 

Looking for more? Check out Top 3 Reasons I love Morning Sex.


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